cooped up most of the…

by dishpantheism

cooped up most of the day. it rained. now the mercury is dropping. i went with a flashlight into my cactus garden to check for frost casualties from the last few nights. things are looking surprisingly good. the aloe striata looks as though it's standing on tiptoe though. like it's waist deep in icy water and holding its shoulders up around its ears.

my skin is so very dry. i blame the cold weather and my nightly (exceedingly hot) baths. every time i bend a little too far forward my skin feels like it's going to split down the middle. most unpleasant.

most of the bulbs are sleeping in the icebox. the 'thalia' narcissus are in a lidded terracotta pot outdoors clocking their cold hours. deep inside the bulbs flowers are forming already. if i split one in a few weeks there'd be a fetal daffodil. spindly and white like indian pipe parasites. a few paperwhites have sent up leaves. they don't need cold to flower. most people throw away the bulbs and start over each year. i can't do it. i always feel bad. tuck them in a random pot instead. usually after a year of rest they begin to bloom normally again. i almost rescued an amaryllis from the store the other day. sister pointed it out to me. it had opened the box with its stalk. looking for light. commiseration.

i have a box of winter candles now. my happiness insurance. it may seem silly. but i grew up with a wood stove or fireplace in nearly every house i lived in. fire in winter is sort of essential to my contentment even if it's only on a small scale. unfortunately it will take more than a wee flame to mend this year. fingers crossed for the next. toes too.

[january may find me in saint petersburg.] <— that is me speaking in hushed tones so as not to jinx things. it's almost too lovely to mention.

wellidy. these snowberry twigs will not weave themselves. and so.