i really should apologize for…

by dishpantheism

i really should apologize for running off for days or weeks at a stretch without leaving notice here. but unfortunately i'm not feeling terribly apologetic. no. instead i'm feeling anxious and scared and rather excited. shades of happy. so. i'm not going to say i'm sorry but rather ask that you share in my unnamed excitement. not trying to be mysterious. but i suppose vagueness is a function of my cautious reaction to happiness. 

every valentine's day sister and i buy a box of those terrible (terrible or delicious…hmm…?) chalky candy hearts. i believe they're called sweethearts but we never refer to them as such. we call them candy oracle. we take delight in asking a question of the box and drawing from it at random incoherent responses. i don't know why we find this exercise amusing. before i ran off for more northerly climes i drew a heart which read "love him." upon my return i discovered the box was empty but for two. this was very perplexing as i had left them in my locked room. i have never had a mouse problem so i'm not sure where the hearts got to. doesn't matter i suppose. the last two hearts drawn in rapid succession were "for you" and a smily face. 
i've picked up a few new books. yay books! i'm not going to begin them just yet but i'm going to add them to the sidebar. observe. —>
on the train home there were two amish or mennonite couples in the seats in front of me. one of the couples had a daughter who was about a year old. she was adorable. a few miles before my stop she started to fuss. her father crossed one of his legs over the other and placed the girl between foot and ankle and dandled her whilst making nickering sounds. her eyes opened really wide every time he swung her upwards. she kept grabbing the edges of her bonnet and putting her hands over her eyes and laughing. so cute. i listened intently to what the two couples were saying trying to parse out the meaning of their conversation with only my meager german to hand. i know they thought salinas was beautiful as the rain-streaked countryside elicited schön after schön until the four of them sounded like a quartet of bantam hens. later one of them must have said something really funny about ranchers as i caught that word muttered in english followed by mention of tumble weeds and the old west followed by peals of laughter. 
i have come to the conclusion that i need at least one piece of luggage with wheels. while i'm sure that lugging five bags around does marvelous things for one's upper body strength it really loses all appeal when one is doing so in the rain.  
wellidy. i've run out of inanities. must be my cue to scoot.