i’m just popping in (not…

by dishpantheism

i'm just popping in (not so very) briefly to relate a few things. i'm currently feeling under the weather. i have a cold. but also i have what i believe is a nasty hobo spider bite on my ankle. it is painful and really really really ugly. but neither of those things is very important.

normally when sister and i are together and i begin a sentence she is able to finish the thought for me. it is awesome but also creepy in its way. or at least it creeps other people out i think. but several days ago i began a train of thought and lost my sister along the way. it was in a cafe. there were observers. and it was funny.
[the two of us are sitting in the dead silence of the cafe whilst waiting for our order. suddenly i remember something and so speak.]
me: okay! so i'll get the manteca and the oak moss! i already have panes of glass.
sister: what? WHAT?!
me: manteca…and…oak moss…and glass.
sister: oh of course, silly me. lard and oak moss and glass. what the eff are you on about?! 
me: (now feeling slightly sheepish) enfleurage. i thought i'd do some.
sister: (laughing) right. okay. you'd lost me.
me: i could see i had.
the people around us looked at us as though we were complete loons. it was actually sort of enjoyable.
a few days later we were in a book shop and sister was being clumsier than usual. we are both rather clumsy.
sister: god. i'm so clumsy. i bet i have mad cow disease. look how clumsy i am!
me: i hate to burst your bubble but this is nothing new. you've been clumsy your whole life.
sister: and? i've been eating beef my whole life.
me: i'm not convinced.
sister: mother's breast milk was mostly meat.
me: please don't exaggerate. it was more like demi-glace.
and then tonight we had an exchange that nearly killed me because i already am not feeling so hot. we were discussing our friend valin. he has a bottle of medicine which he uses for various ailments. but the last time we saw valin he said he had read the label on his "remedies bottle" and found that one of the conditions the medicine cures is "pites." valin was in the dark as to what pites might be. he sought our wisdom. i suggested that it was a typographical error and that the label should have read "piles." he remained unconvinced. tonight sister was chatting with valin online in an effort to discover the mystery of pites. later she came to me and we discussed the problem further. it went something like so:
sister: i think that we can break the word down. i think the "ites" portion of the word is a latin suffix. and it probably refers to inflammation. you know, like "itis." inflammation of the p. or maybe it's a matter of the font being weird. maybe it's one of those oldy timey fonts.
me: what? like a latinate ligature or something? letters smooshed together.
sister: yeah. or something. like maybe the t only looks like a t. you know that one old letter that looks like an f but is pronounced like "sh"? maybe it's that.
me: so inflammation of the pish? oh you mean uncontrollable urination? 
sister: possibly.
me: or inflammation of the pi? inflammation of one's golden mean maybe? 
sister: (in a wonderful old timey voice) sorry about this old fellow but we're going to keep you under observation until your number sequence doesn't repeat. 
errm. it was funny in person. okay? OKAY?! don't judge me.  
so. i'm going to apply some opodeldoc to my hobo spider bite and pass into unconsciousness.